In my humble opinion I believe all parenting starts with ourselves. Ill say a little
bit more about that in a minute. But who here reading this has felt like there
parenting has not been how it could be at times; I know I have. As I have said
in my other blogs, I am a parent of 3 kids aged 7, 5 and 2. And I know they have
pushed my buttons on more than one occasion. I have raised my voice or put
them on the talking step more time than I care to remember. (The talking step
is a place I ask them to go where they calm down and this also gives me space.
Then when it’s all calmed down, I will go to them and say my side of the story
and then let them say their side of the story). Before all these situations used
to trouble me but not as much anymore.
I have started to not be so hard on myself when these situations arise. The
harder I was on myself the less I thought about parenting and the longer a
situation would go on. This brings me back to what I said at the start that all
parenting starts with parenting yourself first. For me this means parenting my
kids the way I would have liked to be parented. Listened to, given a chance to
explain, seen for myself and not my actions, but also parenting myself the way
I wanted to be parented. For me this is saying I need my space for a bit during
the day, listening to myself if I am tired or hungry or even upset and in turn
doing something for myself around these issues. I have seen when I look after
myself the best way I can then my parenting has improved no end. If I am
there for myself, I can then be there for others.
“When you feel powerless, that’s because you have stopped listening to you
heart, that’s where the power comes from”